There was the sweater and the windbreaker, and nothing in between. I dare you to remember a time when dad wore a "coat" when he didn't have skis strapped to his boots. That's right. Never.
The formula worked like this:
Cold = Sweater
Not cold = Sweater (it would be cold if the Benz's heater wasn't giving 110%)
Windy = windbreaker
Cold+windy = sweater + windbreaker
Where is there room for a coat? Every situation is already provided for. Of course the favorite sweater is the Nordstrom's after Christmas sale (of course) alpaca wool sweater in navy or tan. But he'd have to feel every one in the stack for softness before choosing. The favorite windbreaker was the red Camp Oljato windbreaker later replaced by the biking jacket.
But no sweater was ready off the shelf. Maximum warmth needed to be baked into yhe sweater. And only the XXLs could survive the treatment. Washing in the machine in hot water and then a hot dry cycle. The warmth remains forever trapped in the sweater after "the treatment".
Some may wonder "why"? I' quite certain it arose from the Boy Scout layering techniques paired with a suppressed fear of childhood UT winters as evidenced by his strange affinity to Rodney's predicament in a Christmas Story when he "can't get his arms down." To this day you'll see him shudder at the sight.
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I LOVE the shout out to Camp Oljeto!
ReplyDeleteRain? =PONCHO! How could you forget. Pansies wear rain coats. Jack Bauer and real men wear ponchos (preferably red).
He did get into Joseph A. Banks sweaters towards the end because Duane took him there once.
Remember when he tried to do a leather jacket? I think you have it now, Ca-all. It's been your Christmas gift for the last ten years.